a moment of questioning is not a moment of choosing.

I’ve been troubling myself lately with a lot of confusion and thrashing about in hopes for an answer. So I wasn’t quite ready to receive the answer while attending a kirtan in Manchester, NH with “David Newman”:http://www.davidnewmanmusic.com/ … it just suddenly appeared there, a whole thought, formed in my head:

a moment of questioning is not a moment of choosing.

In our minds, the process works this way: we ask a question, and we receive an answer. I can’t point to one instance where the two coincided in one instant. And in questioning, we indicate to the universe our unreadiness to move forward skillfully in that moment. So struggling to turn not-knowing into choosing… we try to turn a moment meant for one state of being into another. Instead, the moments of questioning are simply that: preparation for a moment of choosing.

And in that moment of choosing, what occurs is not so much what we consider choice, as it is accompanied by none of the angst that occurs when we try to choose without knowing, but simple knowing. Which fork of this road should I take? What should I do?

Choosing is a sacred practice. Until the moment of choice, you have been absorbing energy, taking in thoughts, suggestions, ideas, love, all the universe has to offer you… but the moment of choice is a creative instant, a little supernova where the energy you’ve absorbed crystallizes and shines out brilliantly again.

Each of us fulfills this process a thousand times a day, and yet each time it’s new.

Love the process of questioning, of receiving guidance, and let what is learned settle into you. The moment of choosing will come when you know what you need to know, when the choice must be made.

And no sooner.

That’s what I realized tonight.