Jake, why on earth did you move all the way to Maui?

Jake, why on earth did you move all the way to Maui?

Well, that’s a good question. The most obvious assumption of my friends and family is that I moved out here to be with a certain person. The truth is, that was part of my thinking. I have only two friends that I’d move around the world with – Jess is one of them; my friend Scott in Boston is the other. But that wasn’t the whole reason for my move.

I’d been living in Boston for three years, after having lived in Atlanta for three years leading up to the dot-com crash, and working the long, mentally challenging hours of a web developer at a major web agency. Atlanta sapped my creativity – I don’t think I wrote a single creative word the whole time I lived there. So the move to Boston was welcome: I had the opportunity to go back to school at a top-notch university, the culture suited my Maine-bred blood more than the South, and I was closer to family.

But it still wasn’t an easy time living in Boston. I worked a string of jobs where the managers acted unfairly, illegally or both, and spent several months unemployed. I went through a divorce, my car was stolen, and one of my rental companies rented our apartment to someone else while we were finding new roommates! You might say I really got in touch with my anger in Boston.

The bright side: I got more comfortable being on my own. Prior to Boston, I’d either lived with my parents, in a college dorm, with my ex-wife or her family. When I was married, I dealt with the finances, so I technically knew how to run a household – I just didn’t know how to be fine alone.

I began to return to my old interests (Buddhism, writing, poetry, photography) and discover new ones (yoga, for example). And when I finally felt ready to end a self-imposed period of solitude (that is, I spent a great deal of time listening to feelings of need and loneliness and finally found much peace in being alone), I met Jess.

I knew I needed to change in order to move forward in my life. When Jess first suggested moving to Maui, the idea terrified me. Why? Because as much as I was often miserable in Boston (due to work issues, rental company problems, theft, etc), it was a familiar place. I could find myself working at a hotel and studying for years and years and still not come to the place I needed to be.

So I moved to Maui for three reasons: to be with Jess, to study yoga, and to find myself and my path. And the change I so needed is happening: I’m relaxing about life, I’m enjoying it, and I’m still getting things done. I don’t have to burn myself out to accomplish my goals.