I’ve been basking in the beauty of this place … seeing it as if it were entirely new to me.

At the end of June 2004, I boarded a plane bound for Maui (after having shipped a mere fraction of my possessions ahead of me, discarded over 50% of what I had, and stored the rest at the homes of friends and family). I’d done some research before leaving Boston, but I’d never been to this island paradise. I didn’t have a job lined up; I didn’t have a place to live; I didn’t have transportation to get around the island. All I had with me was my friend, and between us a few thousand dollars to build a new life.

In June of 2006, we’ll be returning to Boston. Sometimes life tells us when to make changes and we ignore its guidance at our own peril. Moving to Maui, for me, ended up being about getting my head on straight, finding a path I’d been dancing around but not quite committing to over the last several years. Where I thought Maui’s strengths lay, I frequently turned out to be wrong in specifics… for example, my Buddhist studies have not progressed at all since the move; on the other hand, my spirituality and my faith in the core notions of Buddhist thought have increased tremendously.

Our lives tell us now that a move back to Boston (at the very least, to the mainland), is the best course of action. Mere days after J. and I committed to that path, a place to live and a car materialized, with no action on our own part. We, of course, must take certain actions to accept these gifts, and we will. Since I committed myself to web development work again, my income from these sources has steadily risen, limited only by the fact that I’m over here and most of the jobs are back on the mainland.

At the root of this move, however, is that I’m mentally ready. It’s hard to describe the culture shock of moving to a place so much more fundamentally quiet than the mainland. In Boston, even those of us who don’t live “in the fast lane” are really driven individuals who live out of fear of not making enough money, or not being smart enough, or not doing something meaningful with our lives.

Imagine facing those fears head-on, without the hubbub of the city to distract you from your thoughts. (And you thought paradise would be an easy place to live)

Imagine running out of money in a strange land, having no transportation, little to no personal support near you, and worrying about food and a place to live.

I’m here to say that those worries are unfounded. We, as human beings have evolved over millennia to survive in much worse conditions than any of us experience today. Your animal instincts will drive you to take care of your basic needs much more successfully and powerfully than your fears, which often paralyze you into not doing anything, leading to far worse problems.

I began to rebuild my life when I lost my fear of losing everything. Perhaps that’s easier to do here, where fruit grows on trees year-round, where people can live on the beach. But though there were times I had no money, I never went hungry nor did I ever find myself homeless. When that fear disappeared, what emerged was the importance of following my own path, of paying attention to what I find important, and not bowing down to the will of other people’s intentions for me.

This was the lesson I needed to learn here. In Boston, I took too much personally, such as when people stole my car the night the Red Sox won the Playoffs, or when a rental company lied to us and attempted to defraud us of our security deposits even as we looked for new housemates, or during any number of disagreements I had while working at the Ritz. But so much of life isn’t personal; we all, to some degree, act out of fear or ignorance and hurt ourselves and others in the process.

It’s minimizing how much we hurt ourselves and others and maximizing how much we help ourselves & each other that really matters.

As much as I love Maui, the Northeast will always be home. I thrive within its peculiar history. I find inspiration in the great number of viewpoints that pass through during and after their education. Even the crisp, cold winter air refreshes and cleanses me for another year. Moving to Maui became a journey in finding myself; moving back to Boston will be about being myself.

And yet, now that we’ve made the decision, it seems sometimes that Maui is begging us to stay. Driving back from Paia yesterday, I got the chance to stare at the most vivid, perfect double rainbow I’ve ever seen, situated directly over Ho’okipa; one end painting the tips of cane grass in the sugar fields and the other plunging into the ocean a few hundred feet off of shore.

I couldn’t help but stare at how the colors seemed to transform both the cane and the water into something more, something divine, the glow of nature reflecting itself back to me in all its glorious color. I’ve been basking in the beauty of this place more and more recently, seeing it as if it were entirely new to me.

Maybe that’s Maui’s gift to me: a renewed sight, the blessing of seeing my life again as if it were the first time, and of re-experiencing the excitement I’d thought was gone.