No ‘yes’ is forever…

I’m with you now

Committing isn’t necessarily forever, it’s just an intention to be with someone for as long as it works… Things change, other people sometimes come into the picture, and if they’re truly better for me or you than we are for each other, then our relationship will likely change. Saying ’I’m with you now’ isn’t a chain of bondage; it’s more like holding hands.


It’s an idea that right now, we see all the wonder and joy and good things we offer each other; that right now, we’re fully present and connected with each other, we aren’t looking to the future or the past to fill what’s missing. We’re seeing how wonderful we can be for each other and celebrating that for as long as it’s true.

We’re not looking at how green other people’s lawns are, thinking about someone even better coming along, or worrying about how our choices today might prevent us from finding that someone better.

Because when we do worry about future possibilities, they sometimes prevent us from seeing present realities, the happiness we could have right now and for as long as that makes sense.

No ‘yes’ is forever; a relationship is an ongoing chain of choices to be connected to another person. A single ‘no’ can break that chain and free us to our own destinies.

And of course sometimes we hope and dream that we’ll keep saying ‘yes’ to the same person… Sometimes we do.

Holding my hand now doesn’t mean you’re mine or that you have to hold my hand forevermore. It only means that we hold each others’ hands as long as it feels good and right to us, and we grip more loosely or tightly as we need, sometimes we let go for a little bit and take hands again.

Someday, our hands may part for good. When and if they do – let us move on to better lives, better loves, and remember with joy the time we shared.

If they don’t, or until they do – we’ll know we choose each moment we are together, we believe that the one in front of us is – right now – the person who makes us happiest.

Mila (Jacob Stetser)

Mila is a writer, photographer, poet & technologist.

He shares here his thoughts on Buddhism, living compassionately, social media, building community,
& anything else that interests him.

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  1. well said, maestro!